I was THAT lady today

I was THAT lady in Walmart today. You know the one. We've all been behind them in line. We sigh so loudly everyone else can hear you. Wondering, "What the frick is she doing up there paying in pennies?!"

The hubs and I decided to make a quick Walmart run this afternoon with the Alligator. Got all our goods, you know, some baby items, some charcoal, some cans of ready made formula to use up some exprining formula checks, some food, etc. We parked near the garden center since it was the emptiest. We decided to check out at the garden center lane because it was right there near our car. It was also empty and not a sole in sight as we were walking to the counter.

This lady must have been trained up on ringing people up YESTERDAY. My god she was so slow. Like if she didn't move the item over the barcode at -10 miles an hour the cash register might explode.

:::4 people behind us now:::

By the time she's done ringing up all my items, she gets to the last thing.
Of course it doesn't have a price tag! That's how I roll. Dammit. There were no others around on the shelf. There was no tag for it anywhere. She calls over some other guy to go get a price.

:::5 people behind us now:::

Then I hand her my formula checks. I had 4 $5 checks. You would have thought I just handed her my daughter's diaper contents as payment. So then we went on to see how long it will take her to ring in those checks as payment.

:::7 people behind us now:::

She starts ringing in the checks. No lie, it took 2 minutes for each one. I saw the "invalid key strokes" message pop up on the screen a few times during each attempt to enter my checks in.

:::lost count of how many people behind us now, but a few of them are yelling "Open another register" to the guy walking back with my nonpriced item.:::

She gets to the last check. It will not read it. She tries over and over and over. Holyshit, there is no manual way to enter this thing?! I go digging in my coupons to find another $5 check. That sails through the machine.

She gives me my total. Then realizes, oh wait, the non-priced item the guy just brought back. "Do you want that?" Me: "How much is it?" Lady asking the guy 10 feet away "How much was this?" Guy: "$10 type it in as code 07." (He made it sound so easy.)

Lady tries to type it in as code #*&%&(* or something. Beeps from the machine again. Seriously, think back to the longest check out experience you've ever had, was it THIS long?!? Doubtful.

Lady goes to get THE BOOK now. She couldn't remember "07" I guess. Holy crap. Then I finally swipe my card to pay. Sign the screen. She then has to analyze my card and verify "Is this your card?" What the eff?!?!

We finally get the hell out of there. Alligator is so ready for a nap. She is covered in water because the only thing to keep her not screaming while this was happening was to let her play with her sippy cup. She likes to sip it and then spit it out again. Funtimes. Hubs was with her a few feet away allowing this while I dealt with the slowest cashier in Walmart history.

As we're walking to our car parked 4th in...we see the person behind us sail past us. Then as we're loading the car with our goods and the Alligator we see all the rest of the people behind us come cruising out.

Surely this lady could NOT have just rung them all up? What she playing a trick on me? How did she do that? They must have gotten someone else. I refuse to believe she was that fast and just going slow for me.

Lesson learned - stay away from THAT lady at Walmart checkout.